Moving Forward Series Part 01 What Came Before?
by OtherMeWriter
Summary: How do you cope with your whole world ending and keep the only other person left who knows it existed and what it meant from giving up? Why is the White Guardian concerned with the outcome?
1. Chapter 01 Old Allies & New

_**Part 01 - What Came Before?**_

Chapter 01 - Old Allies & New 

Spinning in the darkness there was a pitiful cry; a cry she thought went unheard in the darkness of space. It was the cry of a TARDIS now the last of her kind mourning, her ancestral home, her people and her soul-weary, devastated sole passenger. She hurt more deeply then she thought she ever would again. Not since the days when she had been abandon in an upgrade maintenance bay. Then she had been alone and grieving for the one being, that should have been her traveling companion for life, her Time lord friend Marnal. She had felt so alone.

Then had come Theta, her Doctor, to make everything better to take her back to the stars and into time where she belonged. She mourned and worried for him now, he had been forced to make a decision no one should ever have to, the life of everyone they loved, their family, their species or that of the rest of the universe. The Daleks destruction in the process was very cold comfort indeed.

Much as she knew Theta didn't get along with his people, she knew the love he had for them and his planet of birth. It was a love and loyalty she knew most of them really didn't deserve. They had given him this task as punishment for his earlier compassion in not destroying the Daleks before their rise to power. In spite of his acceptance of the duty the Time Lords had lay at their doorstep she knew he would never quite be the same man he was and would always be haunted by that action. Already the tenderhearted, compassionate man that he had been had been driven crazy by grief into attempting to take his own life.

Only her quick actions as soon as he lost consciousness prevented his destruction as well. She had kept him sedated though his difficult regeneration and done her best to pour out her love to him, her need for him as his mind and body reformed and healed. In the silence, she cried for their losses, careful to insure that her passenger didn't hear her. She had seen him change many times now, but never had the regeneration process been so difficult. Never had they been so alone. With no home to return to, no companions to help him cope with the gaping hole in his psyche, and the devastating quiet caused by the loss of their people in his mind she feared for him. If there wasn't someone there when he awoke again... Knowing that he would feel angry and betrayed by her saving his life and if there was no one to help him, to give him physical comfort that she couldn't that he would be truly lost. She was certain he would not give her a second chance to save him.

In the darkness she cried, and she thought and she struggled with her disobedience to his desires knowing she couldn't, wouldn't go on without him. She also knew that with out Time Lords the universe would suffer even though he had given everything he cherished to save it from destruction by Dalek. She just had to find a way to help him heal. She resolved that she would find a way, and began to search both time and space for a way to give him back at least a portion of that which he had lost.

Without warning or conscious thought on her part, she began to materialize in a place that was not a place, the home of the White Guardian; she was afraid.

The darkness of space became a sea of white surrounding her. The TARDIS wondered at this turn of events with trepidation. She knew there would be no avoiding the Guardian. Fortunately for her, the guardian was not feeling inclined to make her wait. Unlike her previous visit when the Doctor had been working with the Guardian to get the key to time, she knew the Guardian was here to see her. Fading into sight from the surrounding white, he placed his hand ever so gently on her right front door, which at his desire to enter opened.

He did not look as he had in their last encounter. Now he appeared as a tall willowy fellow, with a narrow face like pictures of elves the doctor had in some of his earth books. Neat curly white hair came to his shoulders and reminded her a bit of the doctor's hair in his fourth and sixth bodies. An impeccably tailored white suit, and white on white spats, did nothing to hide his long skinny limbs and almost delicate appearing hands and feet. The only significant color other then his skin color was his intense bluish white eyes. They looked at her time rotor with such intensity that she gave a mental shudder, but she sensed no hostility from him and very politely telepathically queried him about his presence.

Speaking with quiet power he stated. "I have brought you here to request your assistance in a mutually beneficial venture. With the passing of Gallifrey, the universe has shifted toward Chaos and more in the favor of the Black Guardian. I am asking you to help me correct that shift. I think you will find that you will like results." With a broad smile that seemed to light up her entire control room, with warmth and healing, the Guardian began to outline his plan.

For long moments after he finished speaking she was quiet. Her mind was turning over and over the plan. Marveling at the beauty of it she agreed to help him. For the first time since the destruction, she truly had hope that things might turn out all right.

With her agreement, the guardian gave a zillion watt smile and approached her console. He gently reached out; putting his hands flat on two spots clear of controls, and closed his eyes. She hummed in pleasure as she felt a sweet energy flow from his contact. Bright white tendrils of energy played over her console and her time rotor shifted in color to the pink of intense pleasure. Each white tendril rippled over her slowly coating the interior of the control room in it a swirling kaleidoscope of every color she had ever seen. As she felt the energy absorbing into her she healed. When it dissipated, she found herself sitting in the living room of a friend.


	2. Chapter 02 Old Friends

Chapter 02 - Old Friends 

Retired Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart was startled by the appearance of an antique British police box appearing in the corner of his living room. It's appearance although unexpected was not nearly as disconcerting as It's unusual entrance. No noise, no partial appearance first, it was just suddenly there and led him to think he might have dosed off or be dreaming. Blinking, Alistair stood up wondering if his random thoughts of the Doctor earlier in the day might have somehow induced his appearance in his dreams. Sighing he figured he probably wasn't going to be that lucky. Much as he cared for his old friend and usually enjoyed his visits, he knew that trouble was usually never far behind him. Getting to his feet, he rose and walked over to the TARDIS expecting the Doctor to pop out at any moment. Idly he wondered if he looked the same.

After walking to the TARDIS and touching the door to confirm it really was there, he was startled when instead of the doctor emerging the door opened with no Doctor in sight. Looking in the doorway, he saw an interior not quite like any he had seen previously, and wondered where the Doctor was. Almost in answer to his thought, a monitor on the console lit up.

Walking up the metal ramp leading to the central mushroom shaped control area he noted the coral like support structures. An odd smell that reminded him of a cross between ozone and burnt wires, burnt meat, and a few other unpleasant smells that he couldn't quite classify set him on edge and almost as an after he thought he smelled roses.

Ok, not good, he still didn't see the Doctor. "Doctor? Doctor are you around?" he called becoming concerned for his friend.

The only reply he received was an insistent beeping from the control panel with a lit monitor. Stepping up to the monitor, he found it blank and just as he thought to turn away to search for the Doctor a message came up on the screen. "Alistair, the Doctor has been hurt, please help him."

Not quite sure what to make of the message he asked mostly of himself aloud "What, have you got up to now Doctor."

The screen then displayed a space battle with the unmistakable images of Daleks swarming toward a planet. Moments later the planet exploded and the image rolled momentarily as if the recording device had been thrown end over end. Halting a good distance from the devastation, it was displaying a shattered planet and Hundreds of thousands of Daleks and damaged ships were being rapidly sucked into a black hole.

As he watched the scenes play out on the monitor, his face became hard and grim.

The scene then shifted to the inside of the TARDIS. A man that he assumed was the Doctor lay curled up in a fetal position the on the floor of control room sobbing uncontrollably. His clothing ripped and burned and dozens of red raw injuries showed across the man's body. The control room itself looked as battered as the man who inhabited it; sparking wires were hanging everywhere. Scorch marks and shattered bits of debris strewn all around the room. Looking around the control room he was in currently he noticed many of the metal support beams on the screen that had looked fragile and unstable had been replaced. They were now what appeared to be coral supports. All of the damage so evident on the screen now was gone leading him to wonder how old were the images being displayed.

Responding to the Brigadiers thoughts, the TARDIS displayed a date and time that was a little less then a week previous. Speaking aloud the Brigadier said, "Ok then were is the Doctor?"

The next images displayed were of the Doctor lying in room that looked like some sort of lab or medical area. The white walls were splatter with undefined substances and there was lots of damaged equipment. The Doctor lay clothes unchanged, injuries untreated and with an obvious growth of 2-3 days worth of facial hair. Most alarming was the pool of blood expanding outward from his body from an injury the Brigadier couldn't see from the camera angle. Just as he started to demand where he could find him the body on the floor burst into a bright golden light. Shortly to be replaced by a man in the same place, position, and clothes but with significantly different facial features; where the earlier man had almost gentle classical features and soft brown curls of hair that seemed very fitting for his classical dressing style. The new man in contrast had an almost a buzz cut hairstyle largish ears and a prominent nose. Even in unconsciousness he had an appearance of ruff hardness that Alistair had rarely seen before in the Doctor. If he had any question remaining before in his mind those last images convinced him that this was the man he knew. From the looks of him, it looked like he had been through something truly hellish. The screen then replaced the original words that he had seen when the monitor first came to life. "Alistair, the Doctor has been hurt, please help him."

Staring at the screen he said only one word "Where?"

Behind him there was a beeping noise and a door on the side of the room opened. Turning he strode to the door in full military mode to find that just inside was a hall. Another door just inside was opening into the room from the screen. This room unlike the control room had not changed much from the images he had been viewing.

Moving rapidly to the prone figure on the floor he began to check him over for injuries. On the floor surrounding him was a pool of dried blood like some macabre aura. Although the Doctor now appeared to be uninjured he couldn't help but wondering what had caused him to regenerate this time. Why had the TARDIS taken so long to bring him here and the very pertinent and pressing question, why was he still unconscious.

He figured the first couple of questions would have to wait for the Doctor to wake up but he was going to need some help if he was going to figure out the third. He knew of only one man who was as close to an expert on Time Lord physiology as he was going to be able to find short of the Doctor himself.

Pulling out his cell phone, he quickly found the number he was looking for and dialed. "Harry, this is Alistair I have an unexpected visitor at my house and I was thinking that you might want to come over for a visit.

Harry was surprised at the Brigadiers unexpected call. After working with the man for so many years, four things were obvious. He could tell by both his words and the tone of his voice 1) the Doctor had showed up 2) something was wrong, 3) Alistair was reluctant to discuss the matter over an unsecured phone line and 4) since he was calling him it probably meant that something had happened that required his medical skill set.

His response accordingly was simple "I could be there in about 30 minutes their not in a big hurry to leave are they?"

His response was reassuring "No, I don't think so, right, we will see you then."

Twenty-five minutes later Harry Sullivan arrived at his friend's home. On ringing the bell he was greeted by Alistair's wife Doris who escorted him to the living room and the TARDIS which was now taking up space in the corner.

Doris told him "He hasn't come out yet, but he asked me to let you know to go on in, he's in the med lab." With that, the front door to the TARDIS swung open invitingly.

"Thanks Doris, looks like someone else is waiting for me too," he said with a small smile. He turned and entered. Lightly patting the door on the way in he said in a quiet voice "Thanks old girl"

When he got to the med lab, he found Alistair moving around picking things up, while obviously keeping an eye on the Doctor. Meeting him at the Doctor's side he said to the Brigadier "So what's going on?"

"Not completely sure. The TARDIS showed me on one of the monitors when I got here that the Doctor had been in some kind of war zone. From the looks of things it didn't look like he and the TARDIS were on the winning side." At that, both men were startled to feel a poignant wave of grief coming from the TARDIS.

After a brief pause the Brigadier continued. "From what she showed me approximately two days ago the Doctor had to regenerate from injuries sustained." Knowing how intensely private the Doctor was he paused unsure if he wanted to express his next thoughts. In his minds eye he contemplated the images the TARDIS had shown him of the Doctor curled up weeping on the control room floor. Saying more softly, "I think she wanted him to be among friends when he woke up."

Sensing there was more, but that the Brigadier was unwilling to continue he stated, "Well then lets see how he's doing." As he knelt down to get the Doctor's vitals, he noted the large pool of dried blood. He came to the conclusion that regardless of what other injuries he many have had, and from the state of his clothing that was quite a few, ultimately what probably caused his regeneration was blood loss. From his estimate, it appeared there was more then enough on the floor to have drained him to the point of death. Proceeding with his exam he determining what ever injuries the Doctor may have had previously they had been healed in his regeneration so he reported, "Well from what I can tell, it looks like we should be able to move him with out doing him harm. So lets get him cleaned up and more comfortable." With that, he started putting actions to his words.

After about a half hour they had successfully got him out of his ruined clothes, into pajama bottoms, washed, and moved to one of the beds.

As they had moved him he had shown the first signs of waking but it wasn't till they had finished settling him in one of the beds and Harry had stepped out of the room to the kitchen to get some tea that the Doctor woke with a quiet moan of "Nooo"


	3. Chapter 03 Betrayal?

Chapter 03 - Betrayal? 

If he hadn't been looking at him, Alistair might have missed his friend's soft cry of despair. Stepping closer and speaking softly in hopes of not startling him the Brigadier stated gently, "It's ok Doctor. You're safe, you're in the TARDIS."

The Doctor thought as he awoke was there was something wrong. He couldn't at first place what, but something was definitely not as he had expected. He heard someone speaking but couldn't place why he knew that voice.

In a rush of memories, he remembered and promptly wished he hadn't, the flood of memories from the last few days nearly drowning him in grief. All he could do was repeat over and over the word no in ever escalating and panicked tones; it was as if he hoped, like some charm, it would some how make the horror of listening to millions of his peoples death screams as he had destroyed his planet of birth, go away.

He didn't know which was worse the screams or the deafening silence that followed as the last of his people was forever silenced. He wasn't supposed to have lived; he hadn't wanted this! Anger flares in him as he remembers his resolution to join the others in their eternal rest and his desperate search through the med lab for something that would give him the final the escape he so craved. A way to ensure that he wouldn't just regenerate. He knew he had it right; yet, somehow he had been cheated. With that, he realizes there is only one being that would have been able to circumvent his choice. His ship had betrayed him! With that knowledge, he leaps up and begins to yell at the TARDIS.

"How dare you do this to me! How could you?!? You had no right!" Charging to the closest wall he begins to beat at it with his fists completely oblivious to the confused humans now sharing the room with him. "How could you!?!" He demands.

The TARDIS replies distressed through their telepathic link 'How could I not Theta??' Scathingly she replies with all the anguish she has carried alone as his body healed. 'Have you forgotten that you're not the only one who lost everything? You're all I have left!'

Stunned by her anguish he crumples to his knees ashamed. In doing so his forehead thumps against the wall in front of him with a bang as he replies in the quietest of whispers "You would have better off without me."

Her reply is gentle in his mind almost as if in apology for her outburst 'No, no I wouldn't and you know that; I need you.'

Harry on hearing the yelling from down the hall sprinted back from the kitchen just in time to see the Doctor pummeling his hands bloody against the unyielding medical room wall. As both the Brigadier and Harry hurried over to grab him, to try to stop his destructive behavior, he collapsed cracking his head sharply in his decent which seem to temporarily stun him. As they pulled his unresisting body back to the bed Harry asked the Brigadier, "What's going on?"

The Brigadier's response was a puzzled look and shrug, which made it clear he wasn't sure.

The Doctor finally became fully aware of the two humans as they helped him from the floor and back to bed.

Just as he dropped down heavily to a sitting position on the bed, the TARDIS added an additional thought. 'And they need you too Theta'.

Looking up at them bleary eyed he questioned "Brigadier, Harry," looking between the two men he continued, "How did you get here?"

The Brigadier and Harry looked at each other as if to say you want to handle this or shall I? Looking pointedly at the Doctor's battered hands Harry took the lead. "Doctor you have been hurt lets get you patched up first."

Looking down at his hands he took in the sight of the damaged and bleeding skin on his knuckles as if just noticing them for the first time. With that, he sighed and nodded his consent.

As Harry suspected even after all this time most of the supplies he was looking for were still stored in approximately the same places; no surprise there really, this was one of rooms where the Doctor was quite particular about where things were kept. He had once told Harry that it was 'unacceptable that any one on board HIS TARDIS should be left suffering because some incompetent idiot couldn't be bothered to put things where they belonged'. He smiled at the memory, because at the time of his pronouncement the Doctor himself had stored the item in question incorrectly not two days before. It was a point that at the time would have been much more amusing to Harry if he hadn't urgently needed that type of bandages. His musings interrupted as the Doctor quietly asked, "She let you in didn't she?

The Doctor really didn't need him to answer there was very little in the universe that could get into a TARDIS with out the TARDIS' permission. He just needed to hear it. In spite of all the evidence he still didn't want to believe the she would do something so willful, so against his desires. Even though on one level he felt totally betrayed by his long term traveling partner there was another that was glad. There was at least one being in the universe who not only knew what he had been forced to do, but still cared for him in spite of his actions.

The Brigadier replied in her defense, "Yes she did, it was obvious she was very worried about you."

The Doctor harrumphed not wanting to get into what he was feeling about the TARDIS or why.

The Brigadier then asked with a quirked eyebrow and a challenging voice as if daring the Doctor to open up about what had happened in the past week "Is there still a reason for that?" He really hoped the Doctor wouldn't try to bluff through as he had so many other times and try to ignore what had been obviously something very traumatic.


	4. Chapter 04 Revelations

Chapter 04 - Revelations 

The Doctor wanted to yell at him that it was none of his business, but yelling would only prove that he was not ok. Then he wasn't ok was he? Some things were still very confused, but then that was to be expected. He had noticed when looking at his hands that he no longer inhabited his eighth body. Somehow it seemed fitting that he should loose even the body with which he was familiar, just one more casualty to the time war.

After a moment, he still didn't know how to give an answer that wouldn't create more questions he did NOT want to answer. So he did what he usually did in these cases; he changed the subject. "There a mirror around here?" then seeing again the state of the room behind the Brigadier he cringed. He remembered his sudden desperate search for drugs that he couldn't seem to find. He realized now that it was the TARDIS trying to protect him from himself. Giving the Brigadier a rueful look, he replied to his own question. "Guess not."

Still ignoring the question, he looked over at Harry as he finished the bandaging on his hands. "You done there?"

The Brigadier knew though he couldn't let him off the hook that easily. He had seen the haunted, anguished look that came over the Doctors face as he looked at the damage in the room. It said more of the Doctors state of mind then anything else he had yet heard from the man. He had seen that look before in the eyes of soldiers that had watched their entire platoon wiped out. It was the look of a soul cut adrift, of someone that had seen too much; things that would haunt their worst nightmares for the rest of their days.

Avoiding their eyes the Doctor got up to leave the room. To run away from questions that were too difficult to think about, let alone to try to answer. He looked up as he felt a hand on his shoulder, gentle yet insistent in restraining him. "Doctor, tell us what happened here" Gesturing to the room in general and the floor still covered in his blood. "What has happened to you?"

Irritated the Doctor snapped at him "What does it look like?" With a cynical snort "I died, I got better and made a mess in the process end of story."

Ok he had tried nice. More insistently, Alistair repeated his question, tightening grip, "What happened here Doctor?"

The Doctor glared at him with his most intimidating 'Oncoming Storm' gaze, for a few long moments. He was measuring how much he was going to have to tell him to make them go away.

The Brigadier meets his gaze firmly, staring back at him, refusing to break eye contact first. When he didn't answer, without wavering Alistair dropped the question that he knew would get the man to respond. "Why do you have the look of a man who has lost everything?"

The Doctor staggered back with a sob, as if those words had struck him a physical blow.

Alistair expected him to react, just not quite so drastically and was sure that if he hadn't grabbed his arms he would have folded to the floor.

Harry jerked forward to help catch him, stepping back as the Brigadier helped him to sit back down on the bed.

Then they heard the Doctor's soft reply as he hunched in on himself wrapping his hands around his upper arms unconsciously trying to shield himself "Because I have."

Over his now bowed head, the Brigadier and Harry exchanged a concerned look. The Brigadier gave a small nod toward a couple of the over turned chairs. Harry discreetly stepped away to bring them over, while the Brigadier kept the Doctor focused on him and talking. "How" he said much more gently.

The Doctor looked up at him; anguish seeming to flow from his very pores. "I killed them Alistair! I killed them all. I watched them burn. I listened to them screaming." With each sentence, a self-loathing became evident, his body trembling slightly from the pent up emotions.

To see this man who had always seemed so self-assured, to the point of egotistical so shattered was in it's own way very terrifying. The picture his words were painting were so unlike the man he knew, and from the images the TARDIS had shown him, he was sure he was not telling him everything.

Silently Harry handed Alistair a chair, which he sat in without looking at it to get closer to eye level with the Doctor.

As the meaning of what the Doctor was saying sank in to Harry, he sat abruptly in his own chair. Eyes pinned on the Doctor he blurted out emphatically. "You couldn't have!"

Heatedly the Doctor snapped back "But I did! I killed them all Harry Sullivan, every man woman and child! They ALL died because of me!" His vehemence left no room for argument.

"But…" Harry stuttered in disbelief.

Interrupting Alistair said in a sharp commanding voice that would have made any drill sergeant proud. "Why Doctor? You wouldn't have done that without damn good reason."

Looking away from the two men because he was unable to bear the obvious loyalty in their eyes, a loyalty that he now felt so completely unworthy of "Because if I didn't the Daleks would have won the Time War," he said quietly.

There it was, the choice he had been faced with, commit genocide or let the Daleks convert the universe in to soulless shells of hate.

Cutting to the heart of the matter, Alistair said simply "You didn't have a choice then did you?" He needed his friend to understand that, to accept that before he could be able to start on the long road to toward healing.

"I" the Doctor began then stopping; he changed directions "So what makes me better then them? They are all just as dead."

Instead of answering Alistair asked his own questions "Did you want to kill them? Did you enjoy it? Do you find pleasure in killing and destruction?"

The Doctors reply was immediate and irate "Of course not!" he stated as he glared at the other man his trembling much more pronounced.

Alistair calmly replied, "Then you have your answer Doctor. You know as well as I do that Daleks are ruthless. They would never have stopped till there wasn't anyone or anything else that wasn't Dalek. The very guilt you are feeling is foreign to Daleks." He could see the Doctor wanted to argue but he seemed to have lost the will to proceed.

Sensing the exhaustion and defeat coming from the Doctor like something tangible Harry said to him "You need to get some rest Doctor" Giving him a forced grin he said "Doctor's orders."

Looking over at Harry he gave him an exhausted annoyed look at his comment but nodded. Getting up he began to stagger toward the door as if he could barely stay on his feet. Alistair quickly came over and put his arm around his friend for support as Harry lead the way to out of the room.

The trip to his bedroom was a very short one thanks to the TARDIS who had moved the Doctor's room to opposite the Med Lab. It took little to settle the doctor in bed and he was asleep before his head even hit the pillow. Pulling the blankets over him. Alistair stepped into the hall to quietly speak with Harry keeping the door open a crack so he could still see the Doctor over Harry's shoulder.

They both agreed that it would probably be best if they keep an eye on him for the next few days at the very least. Deciding to look after him in shifts till they could be sure he wasn't likely to be a danger to himself. Although unspoken both men were now sure that his regeneration had been caused by his own actions not by physical injuries from the war. Alistair choose to take the first shift to give Harry some time to tie up some loose ends and arrange for some time away from his usual routine.

The TARDIS anxiously had watched as the humans interacted with the Doctor. Rarely did she wish to be anything other then what she was. There were times though when what she could offer to him just wasn't enough. At times like this he needed someone to hold on to, someone to help him with his physical needs and to comfort him in ways she could not. These were the times she regretted not being like the bipedal beings that traveled within her walls. She would help him however she could by making sure those things he needed most were available.

Right now what he needed most was someone to understand and to help him come to terms with the guilt and the loneliness. She had seen Alistair's memories when he and the Doctor had worked together at UNIT. She knew he would be able to help with the guilt; he was military he had seen war. She knew he would know how to help someone war torn and broken. She had already decided she would take him to Alistair even before the guardian had come. But for Theta to truly heal and start living again it would take someone special. That someone was whom the guardian had revealed to her. Now she just needed to work with these humans to insure he survived long enough to get to her.


	5. Chapter 05 Healing

Chapter 05 – Healing 

Alistair watched as Harry headed out of the TARDIS. He stood there for a time considering the enigma that was the Doctor and about how much this planet owed him for his steadfast efforts on their part; it was time he got something back. It was painfully obvious how devastated the Doctor was by everything that had happened and really that was no surprise. He couldn't imagine being responsible for killing everyone he loved and cared about. Thinking about his wife and children and all the rest out their living their lives in peace and freedom because of this man he wondered how often anyone even bothered to say thank you. He knew the Doctor hated when people fussed but he wondered how much of that was because so few had considered it important to do so in the past. He had time and time again seen him put his life on the line for people he didn't know and more times then he could think he had put his life in jeopardy to protect him and the other members of UNIT. Now he had paid a staggering price for the compassion he so freely dispensed.

Leaning on the wall opposite to the Doctors room keeping the man in the periphery of his vision he pulled out his cell and dialed his home number. Alistair knew Doris would worry if he said nothing, he also knew the Doctor held a special place in her heart for the many times he had saved his life. Aware he could depend on her to help them in any way she could just drove home again how much the Doctor had lost. The phone rang once before Doris answered.

"Alistair, what's going on? So what's happened to the Doctor?" She had lived long enough as a military wife to know how crazy things could get for her husband. As a result it hadn't really surprised her when the Doctor had showed up. It was the fact the Doctor hadn't even popped his head out to say hi, he always made a point of saying hello when he stopped in, and that had her concerned. All Alistair had said in his earlier phone call was that Harry was coming and to send him to the Med Lab when he arrived. Her initial concern had ratcheted up a notch when Harry had arrived and neither Alistair nor the Doctor had come out to greet him. To her that meant only one thing the Doctor had been in some way hurt.

With military precision honed from years of giving and taking status reports he briefly told her what had happened. He had done well to keep his turbulent emotions hidden until his final statements, which had made her blood run cold. As if struggling with the words he said "The doctor attempted suicide. He regenerated but I am pretty sure he didn't intend to do so, based on how he acted when he first woke up. Though he now physically seems fine other then exhaustion and some superficial damage to his hands." He said trying to reassure her at least on that point, wondering in the back of his mind if it was really he committed suicide since his body had died before he regenerated. Immediately he mentally chastised himself for focusing on semantics at a time like this before recognizing it for what it was his own unwillingness to think about what would have happened if the TARDIS hadn't intervened. Caught up in his own thoughts he didn't realize how quiet Doris was being.

For a long moment she stood there stunned envisioning the horrors the Alistair had mentioned. Intellectually she understood completely how the Doctor could have done what Alistair said, but trying to reconcile the words 'attempted suicide' with the doctor just didn't seemed possible. He was always so vivacious and upbeat even when she could see others thought the situation was unsalvageable. If it were anyone else telling her this she would have considered it was some sort of sick joke, but about something this serious Alistair would never have told her unless he thought it were true.

Realizing her extended silence she said, "do you think he will be ok?"

His reply was filled with conviction; "If anyone can get through this it will be him."

In the background she heard a strangled cry. Alistair's reaction was one word "Later" and the phone in her hand disconnected. She looked at the phone for a long moment before gently replacing it in its cradle and heading to the kitchen to put on tea. She had a feeling the next few days would be very long ones indeed.

Alistair looked over to see the Doctor thrashing in his bed and quickly hung up with his wife moving to the Doctors side even as he did so.

Reluctant to try to touch him in his agitated yet obviously unconscious state he spoke to him soothingly trying to talk him out of the nightmare he was so obviously in the midst of experiencing. "Doctor, it's me Alistair, you're safe on the TARDIS you're ok.

Gasping and panting the Doctor lurched upward in the bed so abruptly that he almost dumped himself on the floor. Alistair seeing he was awake if yet still disoriented repeated "You're safe. It was a nightmare"

Sweating profusely he looked over at the Brigadier with eyes wide and hugely dilated giving him the appearance of a deer caught in oncoming headlights. As he began to register more of his surroundings he be began to shake violently. His legs pulled up to his chest and his arms moving to clamp tightly around his knees as he began to rock in the bed trying to find comfort in the motion.

Gently Alistair put his hand on the Doctor's arm and sat on the edge of the bed near him. "You're not as alone as you think Doctor."

Looking back at the man with a bleak, desperate expression he said, "Yes I am," moving his arm only the bare minimum needed to tap the side of his head "nobody else, just me. When I left Gallifrey they didn't leave. The others, always there." A slight hitch in his voice as he said "Didn't really think about till it was gone." He said in a rush almost choking on the words "D… don't know which worse, them all screaming," clamping his eyes shut he paused visibly trying to regain his composer to continue speaking. His rocking increasing in speed for a few moments as he pressed his forehead tightly against his knees, after a few moments he continued in a hoarse tear choked voice "or silence." With those words he finally lost it and began sobbing uncontrollably.

Alistair knowing there were no words adequate he could offer pulled the other man in close to his side. Gently rocking and crying silently with the shattered Time Lord, comforting him even as he had done with his own children when they were young. Hoping that his presence would give him some of the same comfort. Finally after a long while the Doctor fell again into an exhausted slumber. For a long time Alistair sat with unconscious man clutching his shirt as if holding on to a life preserver. Eventually though the Doctor slipped into a deeper sleep and his grip lessened enough so he could free himself. Stretching out the kinks he pulled over the overstuffed chair with narrow arms so he could sit close to the bed he settled down to wait for the next round of nightmares he was sure would be coming.


	6. Chapter 06 1 Step Forward 1 Back

Chapter 06 - 1 Step Forward 1 Step Back 

The night had pretty much gone as expected by Alistair, the Doctor achieving only short stretches of nightmare-interrupted sleep. After the third such distressing episode, the Doctor sat at the head of his bed staring blankly at the opposite wall and refused to even try to go back to sleep. He was exhausted yet sleep held no refuge for him. He hated anyone seeing him in this state but the thought of being alone was worse.

After the Doctor had recaptured his composure he had moved to sit curled up with his arms wrapped around his legs rocking himself very slowly.

Alistair knew that Time Lords didn't need to sleep much but they did need to do so occasionally for their general health as well as to heal from physical injuries. From the looks of the Doctor he hadn't done much resting in this past week in spite of his unconscious state when they had arrived.

With the Doctor stubbornly keeping himself awake to prevent further nightmares, the TARDIS decided to let Alistair know that the Doctor was becoming dehydrated. He started at the unexpected images. He had never had her speak to him directly and it unnerved him a bit. On an intellectual level he knew the TARDIS was sentient, as he had seen her communicate with the Doctor more then once. She had never given any indication that she would be willing to speak to anyone else, well not before the message when he first came on board. Even now she really hadn't spoken per say but had shown him the Doctor drinking a tall glass of clear liquid and had project a feeling of intense thirst followed by the image of the Doctor connected up to an IV.

He couldn't help but wonder at the change in the TARDIS' behavior. In answer she projected to him several scenes both past and present where he had helped the Doctor accompanied by an intense wave of gratitude.

It had become obvious that the Doctor wasn't going to speak with him or even acknowledge his presence, in spite of his ships new acceptance, unless he was forced to do so. So he went over to the sink in the connected bathroom to get him some water and hopefully get him to talk on that pretext. As he'd anticipated, the Doctor didn't even blink as he crossed his line of vision and he doubted he was even seeing the wall across from him.

Looking around he saw a cup on the sink, which, after a quick scan for cleanliness, he filled. Coming back into the bedroom he came around the bed to sit on its edge, making a small noise as he sat, he offered the water to the Doctor. When, as he expected, he received no response he spoke quietly "Doctor?" Pausing for a moment to see if the Time Lord would give any indication of responding. At his unmoved expression he tried again. "Doctor, you need to drink something."

Slowly turning his head to stare in the Brigadier's direction, the Doctor asked "Why?"

What Alistair saw in the Time Lord's eyes almost made him gasp in shock; they seemed so devoid of life it made him think of a corpse with its eyes open. Never in a living person had he seen such frightful emptiness. It almost made him forget the question that he needed to answer.

"You're going to need to drink to avoid dehydration." He said practically, his voice coming out a shade higher then he intended, trying to make clear that he wouldn't just let the Doctor sit and waste away.

The Doctor just looked at him for a long moment, as if considering if he wanted to continue ignoring him. At that point the TARDIS projected to him as sense of intense thirst. Furious that she had obviously been talking to some else about him, yet one more traitorous sign, he slammed his mind shut on her and he turned his head away from Alistair stating "So you think you will get your way by convincing him to do your dirty work for you do you? Not going to happen!"

Alistair realized that he was replying verbally to some conversation that he wasn't party to and that he too was being put on notice that the Doctor was not going to cooperate with either of them. Making his own stance clear Alistair said, "Doctor if you don't drink something, then so help me when Harry gets back I will help him put in an IV with or with out your cooperation."

Replying caustically the Doctor responded "I could easily kill you long before Harry got back."

Well, Alistair thought, at least anger was a reaction, far better then the way he had been just a few minutes before, maybe they were starting to get though to him. Looking the man straight in the eye, Alistair said, "Could you? Do you really feel like killing someone else who cares about you?"

For a long time the Doctor didn't move, just stared at him. The Time Lord was so still Alistair wasn't even sure he was still breathing. Just as he thought that maybe he had pushed too far, that he wasn't going to reply, the Doctor broke his gaze and responded.

The Doctor was stunned that the man had said he cared, about him. How could he? Didn't he understand what a monster he was? Didn't he realize how dangerous? He was a mass murderer how could Alistair say such a thing let alone think something like that? Why did he think that he would hesitate to kill him after killing everyone on his home planet? Permeations of these thoughts spun through his mind at a frenetic pace. Yet he knew the man was right, the idea of killing anyone else at this point made him nauseous.

So he responded in the only way he could, with an almost imperceptibly quiet, "No."

Taking a second to register what it was the Doctor had mumbled, Alistair grabbed the advantage, "Then make things easy on both of us and drink something."

The Doctor's only response was to look down at the glass the other man was holding out to him again. After a long moment he reached out and took it, emptying it in one draw. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard, at the same time putting the glass down on the bed.

With satisfaction Alistair accepted that small victory, picking up the glass to take it back to the bathroom. In a bit he figured he would try to get him to drink some more.

Alistair was half way to the bathroom when a voice from the bed said quietly "Thank you, Brigadier"

Both of them knew it wasn't just for the water. Looking over he said gently "Do you want some more?"

Thinking on that for a moment, the Doctor replied as quietly as before, sounding almost embarrassed. "Yes please".

Giving him a small smile, the Brigadier walked over and refilled the glass. Bringing it back to the Doctor, he said as he handed it to him, "Anytime my friend."

After the Doctor had finished his water they both returned to their own thoughts. Later as Alistair was sitting in the recliner he heard an odd noise. Looking up he realized the Doctor had fallen asleep sitting up and had begun to snore. He was concerned for his comfort but decided getting some sleep was more important then waking him up trying to get him to lie down in a more comfortable position.

He wondered how long he would sleep before the next nightmare yanked him awake.

Around 9 pm Harry returned, carrying in a pile of sandwiches and a very large pot of tea, which he placed on a small table that Alistair was certain hadn't been there earlier. Looking over he noted, much to his relief, that the Doctor was still asleep. As he turned to pour a cup of tea and get one of the sandwiches he heard a voice so close behind him that he almost dropped his cup.

"Is that Earl Grey?"

Recovering quickly he looked back and at his elbow stood the Doctor, grinning almost manically like a cat that had caught the canary at the Brigadier's reaction. Alistair noted he looked years younger when he smiled and decided he liked his new smile. He was at the same moment annoyed and relieved that the man had found amusement at sneaking up on his friend and catching him unawares. He replied casually in a tone that said 'you really didn't catch me off guard', even though they both knew he had, "Yes, would you like some?"

He handed the Doctor a cup of quickly prepared tea, made the way he had last known the Doctor to like it, only to see him grimace as he took the first taste.

Recognizing the confused expression on the Brigadier's face, the Doctor tried to say casually "New taste buds". If it weren't for the dark look in his eyes when he said it he would have pulled off making it sound like it was no big deal.

Trying to ease the sudden tension in the room Harry said, "Need more sugar, or maybe some milk?"

Taking another much smaller taste to avoid looking at the other men, he said after a moment, "Yes, both I think." After four sugars and another generous dollop of milk he declared it drinkable. After a few moments of companionable quiet the tension in the room began to rise again forcing the Doctor into movement. Turning his back on the other two, he walked over to the corner to retrieve two folding chairs and bring them over.

As he did so, Alistair finally had to ask about the furniture appearing when he knew it hadn't been there before.

For a moment The Doctor froze realizing that the TARDIS had been doing what she always had, anticipating his needs and trying to help make things simpler for him. That thought had him mentally scrambling to make sure that his shields were still intact and that she couldn't read his mind. He was still mad at her for what she had done and keeping her out was his way of telling her what he felt about her actions. He was angrier with her then he really should be but it was easier shut her out than to admit, let alone address, his own feelings.

Seeing the Doctor frozen Alistair said gently, "Doctor?"

Snapping alert, the Doctor replied again, trying and failing to sound casual about the matter. "Oh it's just something the TARDIS does to help out." Mumbling under his breath loud enough that he knew only the TARDIS would hear. "Even when she's just helping herself."

At the Doctor's ungrateful comment the TARDIS felt a surge of resentment. After all she had done for him this last week and trying to keep his body and mind together and he kicks her out of his head and then, to add insult to isolation, he says something like that. Well two could play that game; let's see how he likes being shut out, she thought to herself. All of the men were startled by the sudden loud unmistakable pop of a light bulb bursting in the bathroom.

Harry said "Odd, don't think I have ever seen a light bulb burn out in here." Walking over to inspect the shattered bulb he turned to ask "Doctor do you…" his voice ground to halt as he caught the expression on the Doctor's face. He didn't think he had ever seen someone this side of living quite so pale.

Alistair whipped round to look at the Doctor after looking up and seeing Harry's expression, "Doctor?"

Harry came hurrying over to help Alistair guide the Doctor back over to sit on the bed. Saying, "It was just a light bulb bursting, Doctor, nothing to be concern…" again he trailed off as the Doctor began to vigorously shake his head. "Doctor?"

Hoarse and almost sobbing he said, "She… She doesn't just blow out bulbs." Trying to not sound as panicked as he felt, he threw open his mental barriers, eyes glazing over as he hunted for the presence of his time ship only to find… Nothing at all! Nothing but haunting silence in his head, which set off a wave of almost uncontrollable shaking as he slid forward off the bed so fast he took both men next to him by surprise as he landed heavily on the floor.

Both men staggered backward at his verbal and mental scream of "Noooooooooooo!".

They stared dumbly at the Doctor crumpled on the floor between them; looking for the entire world like he was trying to dig the side of his face and his hands into the floor as if trying to grasp at something he couldn't reach. The rest of his body was plastered flat as if he was trying to get as much of his body in contact with the floor as possible.

Then with a stunning wave of grief, followed by what felt like the equivalent of a smothering hug layered with wave after wave of regret, as the TARDIS surrounded the Doctor.

As a consequence of their proximity, the two men standing above the Doctor also felt her powerful emotional broadcast. Looking at each other confused, they tried to figure out what was going on, unsure what it was about a light bulb burning out that had triggered this reaction. Together they tried to pick up the Doctor up off of the floor to put him back in the bed. As they attempted to move him he began to flail wildly to prevent even the smallest physical separation between himself and the TARDIS. In that motion he caught Alistair hard in the jaw and missed Harry by fractions of an inch. Alistair was thrown back into a sitting position, half dazed by the strength of the blow and quickly scrambled out of range. Harry followed suit getting far enough back from the Doctor so that he could react if he struck out again.

As the moved to regroup the Doctor began sobbing. "I… I thought… I couldn't hear… please… I'm sorry…" with that he trailed off in a helpless whimper, a sound so desperate and lost it rent both men's hearts to hear "Ppp… please don't do that again. Please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

Still not completely sure what had happened, other then it had to do with some interaction of the Doctor and the TARDIS, the two men backed off uncertain what to do till the man and his sentient machine had worked whatever it was out.

Harry looking over at Alistair gently working his injured jaw said quietly, "You ok?"

Nodding he whispered back, "Forgot how strong he is."

Harry sympathized, continuing their hushed conversation, "Sit, I'll get you some ice. It doesn't look like he's going anywhere soon." He gestured to the Doctor who had again flattened as much his body as he could against the TARDIS floor. With that Harry slipped from the room, leaving Alistair to wonder what had set the Doctor off again, although he did have some guesses based on what the Doctor had said.

The Doctor was still sobbing, essentially unmoved from his previous position, when Harry came back. The gut wrenching anguished sobs seemed to have lessened some, so he hoped that sometime soon they would get some proper explanation as to what happened.

Finally the noises from the Doctor turned from sobs to snuffles and, just as they thought he might finally be coming to grips, they turned to quiet snoring. At the first snores the two men looked at each other in resignation, knowing neither of them had the heart to wake him up to get answers. At that decision Harry said to Alistair, "I will look after him, go get some rest."

"See if you can get him to drink and eat something when he wakes up will you, Harry?" Taking a final sad look at the Doctor looking so fragile there on the floor, he left to go get a late dinner and some sleep.

Noticing Alistair's pause, Harry realized that if the Doctor was going to be on the floor for awhile he probably should at least get him covered up with a blanket so he didn't get a chill. With a dignified tenderness, Harry covered the Doctor in a blanket and settled back to watch over him as he slept.


	7. Chapter 07 Purpose

Chapter 07 – Purpose 

The next morning they were finally able to get an explanation from the Doctor of what it was that had so upset him the night before. He explained that when he had tried to find the TARDIS to make sure she was all right she had blocked herself from his senses and he 'lost it' when he thought she died too in spite of the empirical evidence to the contrary. What Harry and the Brigadier wanted to know what that had to do with a blown light bulb. His explanation to that was very simple; the only other time the TARDIS had ever blown a bulb was when she had a severe power surge that had caused her some considerable damage. He likened it to hearing the dog bark in the middle of the night when you knew it only barked at intruders. It wouldn't mean anything to the average person but generally meant trouble to someone who knew.

After that morning the event was never mentioned again. The Doctor found the whole incident intensely embarrassing. Part of his embarrassment had come from his yet again forgetting he wasn't the only one hurting as a result of the loss of their home planet. Another part was for what he had felt to be petty sulking that had goaded her into giving him a taste of his own medicine; after all he had started it by blocking her out of his mind first. Lastly he felt a fool for not realizing the obvious and that she couldn't have suddenly expired without something more then just a blown light bulb as evidence.

The TARDIS said nothing of the matter to the Doctor. Her own guilt kept her silent. Shame that she had let her own feelings get the better of her, shame she didn't think of her friends fragile mental state; lastly intense shame for not thinking of how badly he might react to the isolation only days after having the Time Lords collective consciousness brutally ripped from his mind.

The humans also didn't mention the event because they could tell there was something more the Doctor hadn't said, something he was ashamed to admit unconnected with his dependence on his sentient time ship. Instead they chose to try to keep him focused on progress.

The previous evening had, in it's own way, been a blessing in that he had amazingly slept through the rest of the night without being roused by nightmares. Unfortunately, the frequency of the nightmares in the next few days when he did attempt slumber quickly made him intent on doing virtually anything to keep himself awake. When confronted about it he alternated between becoming upset at the suggestion he sleep and ignoring them completely. Even he couldn't quite bring himself to accept the lie that he could do without completely. Ultimately, in spite of any and all encouragement, they failed get him to consider the idea. As a result he pushed himself till he dropped in his tracks and frequently they found him asleep in odd locations. More then once they found him slumped over some piece of equipment or other that he had continued to work on till his body forced him to sleep. By unspoken agreement no one woke the Doctor when he was actually resting peacefully regardless of where unless he would be physically in danger, such as the time he had fallen asleep in the tub or the time had nearly set his sleeve on fire when his arm had slid too close to a heating unit. Both of those times the TARDIS alerted the humans who then swiftly came to his aid.

On the Doctors part, the next couple of weeks were filled with frenetic activity and an almost constant verbal barrage on random topics. The others could tell he wasn't really particular about what he did just so long as he didn't have to stay still. His first project had been to clean up the lab and rebuild the equipment he had destroyed. The Brigadier and Harry insisted he let them help, as they knew it would stir up substantial emotions being in the room again. They were both quite surprised at how well he seemed to handle the situation. The only real difference between that task and others was that when the Doctor was there he was virtually silent other then basic direction, discouraging or downright ignoring them if they tried to talk with him about anything other then the task at hand. Both of the humans quickly took the hint and kept quiet and an even closer eye on him.

Following the completion of that project he had began going over all the systems of the TARDIS, finding them in significantly better shape then he knew they should have been. When he queried the TARDIS she flatly refused to discuss the topic. Eventually he badgered her so persistent that finally she had threatened to mentally shut him out if he didn't drop the topic. At that he reluctantly relented and didn't mention it to her again, although that didn't stop him brooding about why she wouldn't discuss how she had healed so completely in such a short time. The fact that she was keeping secrets from him disturbed him more then he cared to admit.

After the first few rocky days of emotional breakdowns over the most seemingly random things, Alistair and Harry were pretty sure the Doctor was past the initial crisis point and as the days progressed he became somewhat less subject to the mercurial shifts in temperament, which was a relief to them all. Alistair's wife, Doris, had taken the Doctor under her wing bringing him treats and other sweets of which she knew he was particularly fond. In return she was able to coax him into helping her in the garden. Both she and Alistair were surprised at times how much the Doctor knew about the life cycles and nutrient needs of a wide spectrum of plants often telling them odd bits about the plants history and medicinal uses. One afternoon, as Doris became sure that he knew the name of every plant in the garden, she mentioned her surprise to him and he replied with a grin "nine hundred years old me, seen quite a few plants in my time." Doris's garden became a sanctuary where the Doctor could just be, without having to think about his life outside its walls. Some time later he mentioned that he had a garden but when she asked if she could see it his face visibly clouded over. She quickly temporized 'at some other time' as she realized he probably had many plants from his home in that garden. Many times the Doctor found some measure of peace there, which was evidenced by how frequently they found him dozing on the garden bench. At other times, however, he felt antsy and could only stay for short periods before having to be off to some other project.

For all the bright moments where he actually seemed to forget for a little bit the horrors he had seen and actions he had been forced into there were many more where he had to be practically dragged into interacting with the others. Of the four of them, Alistair was most able to get the Doctor to actually talk about what he was feeling but even he would get shut out at a moments notice when the Doctor became overwhelmed by flashbacks. More than once Alistair had watched as the Doctor just stopped mid sentence, his eyes going glassy as he became entangled in the memories that were still so fresh and raw.

The Doctor had almost never stayed in one place for an extended period of time except when he had no other choice. That was as true now as it had been then and he felt trapped. This time it wasn't the Time Lord Council or physical injury that had him grounded it was his traitorous TARDIS. He had asked cajoled and entreated the TARDIS to take him somewhere else, anywhere else, yet she tenaciously refused saying he needed to be here. When he demanded an answer as to why she would tell him he would know in time, which infuriated him no end. Since when did she get to decide the course and timing of his trips? Had she become damaged in some way that had made her so rebellious? True she had never been like the other TARDIS' in which he had traveled. She always had seemed smarter in ways he had never been able to quite define. She had always seemed somehow more alive then the others. But no matter how he tried to think it through she was definitely not acting in the manner that he had become accustomed. What was it the Earthers called it… 'Thinking outside the box', even as he recalled the phrase he wondered if that was it exactly - had someone taken control of her? The next three days were spent with the Doctor going over her every system again, looking for some anomaly that would explain her behavior.

On day three just as the Doctor was coming to the conclusion there was nothing he could find to explain the observed behavior, he picked up a signal that he hadn't seen in years. At his surprised outburst the Brigadier came over to see what it was he was making a fuss about.

"We have visitors Brigadier; I just picked up some reading from a Nestene transmitter in London."

Alistair, watching the Doctor as he made this pronouncement, realized he had in this discovery seemed to pick up some of the old sense of adventure, the old spark that had always been a hallmark of his previous incarnations. As a result he actually looked more truly alive then he had since he had showed up. Realizing that this just might be exactly what the Doctor needed he suggested, "Well why don't you go sort it out."

The Doctor frowned as he realized he was going nowhere unless he could figure out how to convince the TARDIS to take him.

Misreading the Doctors frown he said, "Of course if you need some back up you can always contact me, unless of course you're looking for company…"

As Alistair started to get more diplomatic about his statement, the Doctor received a clear message from the TARDIS, 'Time to go Theta'

Interrupting the Brigadier he said, "No, no need I am sure we can take care of it, can't we old girl? It was past time we got out of your hair anyway."

Alistair looked intently in the other man's eyes and said quickly to make sure his friend knew he wasn't trying to push him out, "Doctor you're no trouble, and you're more then welcome to stay," He paused, "It's just you have seemed antsy these past couple of days."

"Quite right that." The Doctor said with a genuine grin, "never did like to stay put."

Returning his smile and trusting the instinct that said it was time for his friend to go back to what he did best, he said with all earnestness "Doctor be careful out there, and if you need to… Well just don't you two be a strangers."

Suddenly serious again, the Doctor nodded and there was very little that gaze didn't convey. Shaking the man's hand he said "Please tell Doris and Harry thanks for everything." Echoing the Doctor's words, Alistair felt an intense wave of gratitude from the TARDIS. "I'll swing back sometime soon. I owe your lady a trip to a garden you know."

With that the Brigadier turned and left the TARDIS and stood to watch as the TARDIS dematerialized. Looking at the space in the corner that hadn't been vacant for close to a month, he sighed and hoped that the next time the Doctor showed up he still had the same face. He grimaced as he thought about the lecture Doris would give him for just letting him swan off with out saying a proper goodbye; though once he assured her he was going to be all right she would forgive them both. With that he went off to the kitchen to get some tea and wait for Doris to get home from her shopping, thinking he really was getting too old for this kind of stuff.

It felt so good to be moving again! He so didn't do domestic and he had had more of it in the past three weeks then he had in centuries. If he was honest with himself it felt nice knowing that there were people out that he could depend on in a crisis, but he had begun to seriously tire of people looking at him with pity and walking around him on eggshells. No matter what they did they would never be able to fill in that gaping hole in his mind where once a whole people existed. Swallowing he forced his mind away from that mental ache and instead turned his focus to the monitor and began working on the coordinates so he could get as close to that signal as he could. Getting a lock on was being problematic, though, as the signal kept cutting out.

Working on foot from where he had parked the TARDIS downtown he began tracing the signal generator. With all the local background noise, signal bounce, and the erratic signal it took him a couple of hours to track down exactly where the signal booster was located. As he suspected it was in one of the clothing stores he passed a couple of times already. Looking up at the storefront his eyes were drawn to a pretty blond store clerk explaining something exuberantly to a young couple near the checkout. Something about her seemed very familiar but he couldn't place were he may know her from, shaking his head he refocused on the task at hand. He figured if he headed back to the TARDIS right now he should be back here just before closing time. It would make it so much simpler if it turned out he had to blow up the building if he didn't have to worry about how to get a bunch of people out first.

After scooting back to the TARDIS to get some of Ace's nitro 9 explosives he returned just in time to head into the building in search of the transmitter. Finding it on the roof he also found what he had feared; they had set it up in such a way that the building structure was being used to amplify the signal. So far there had been only the occasional test pulses from the transmitter, which had contributed to the length of time it took him to track down the correct building. Just as he was beginning to set up the timing device on the explosive the transmitter started a steady pulsing. His time had just run out. Immediately checking for life signs in the building he found that instead of the empty building that he had been anticipating there were two life signs down on the basement floor of the building. Swearing under his breath he made for the lift. As he exited into the hall one of the two life signs abruptly flickered out. Scowling he put on extra speed, striving to reach the remaining life sign, finding a locked door behind which he could hear shuffling sounds and the unmistakable sound of a female voice. Quickly he unlocked the door just in time to see one of the Autons advancing on young woman. Grabbing her hand just as the Auton moved in for the killing blow he smiled, as he began to tug her from the room, instructing her to "Run!"

**To Be Continued in Part 02 - Going Forward**


End file.
